#momfail

Lately, I have felt like I am failing at keeping my little one safe. He fell off a little love seat the other day and got a carpet burn on his forehead. He screamed and wailed. And, let's face it, so did I. It was totally preventable, but I turned my back and there he went.

There have a been a few other little things that I have thought to myself TOTAL MOM FAIL. I knew some day it would happen. I knew there would be accidents, but there was nothing that prepared me for the emotions that came along with failure as a mother. There is this overwhelming guilt factor that comes when you become a mother. God designed women and moms different. WE feel for those little ones when they get hurt. We hurt right a long with them. Since I am new to the whole mothering thing I am willing to guess that it never gets easier. Watching your child in pain,  suffering with a cold or getting crushed by friends is never easy.

As more of the failures creep into my mind, it makes it harder to sleep at night. I seem to dwell on the mistakes I make as a mother and that "I am no good" thought pattern begins. As I was praying this morning I was praying, "Lord have mercy." I was in a moment where there was nothing else to say. In my sinfulness as a mother all I can ask my Lord is to have mercy on me. And you know what? He did. He does. My Lord sees me and protects my child in the moments when I fail. Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace!

I realized that trust God with everything I am. There are moments when I have a hard time focusing on God and my trust fails. As a Christian, there is always this trust that God will (and does) protect me. I know that he is in every moment of my life and watches over me. This does not mean that nothing bad is ever going to happen. It also does not mean that God allows bad things to happen. It means that I am sinner in need of Savior to forgive my brokenness.

As I think about what is must have been like for God the Father to watch his one and only son, Jesus, suffer and die, I take a deep breath and remember it was all for his children. I am a child of God. He sees my sin and forgives me. He sees my mistakes and cares for me. I am in awe of Jesus' sacrifice.

I had a few mom fails this week, but God covered my failures with his grace. Praise be to Him alone.