Giving Thanks

Today I am thankful for quiet moments in the early morning hours, sisters, moms, dads, this journey of motherhood, sanity trips to Target, coupons, Little Man smiles, warm cheeks to kiss, heaters, sweaters, rain boots, work, blow dryers, God's mercy and a courageous husband.

What are you thankful for today? Link up or comment below!

#momfail

Lately, I have felt like I am failing at keeping my little one safe. He fell off a little love seat the other day and got a carpet burn on his forehead. He screamed and wailed. And, let's face it, so did I. It was totally preventable, but I turned my back and there he went.

There have a been a few other little things that I have thought to myself TOTAL MOM FAIL. I knew some day it would happen. I knew there would be accidents, but there was nothing that prepared me for the emotions that came along with failure as a mother. There is this overwhelming guilt factor that comes when you become a mother. God designed women and moms different. WE feel for those little ones when they get hurt. We hurt right a long with them. Since I am new to the whole mothering thing I am willing to guess that it never gets easier. Watching your child in pain,  suffering with a cold or getting crushed by friends is never easy.

As more of the failures creep into my mind, it makes it harder to sleep at night. I seem to dwell on the mistakes I make as a mother and that "I am no good" thought pattern begins. As I was praying this morning I was praying, "Lord have mercy." I was in a moment where there was nothing else to say. In my sinfulness as a mother all I can ask my Lord is to have mercy on me. And you know what? He did. He does. My Lord sees me and protects my child in the moments when I fail. Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace!

I realized that trust God with everything I am. There are moments when I have a hard time focusing on God and my trust fails. As a Christian, there is always this trust that God will (and does) protect me. I know that he is in every moment of my life and watches over me. This does not mean that nothing bad is ever going to happen. It also does not mean that God allows bad things to happen. It means that I am sinner in need of Savior to forgive my brokenness.

As I think about what is must have been like for God the Father to watch his one and only son, Jesus, suffer and die, I take a deep breath and remember it was all for his children. I am a child of God. He sees my sin and forgives me. He sees my mistakes and cares for me. I am in awe of Jesus' sacrifice.

I had a few mom fails this week, but God covered my failures with his grace. Praise be to Him alone.

Giving Thanks

We just got back from a getaway to the mountains for a weekend with my in-laws. It was a fun weekend in a secluded cabin that even included snow! We got to take fun little day trips to Asheville and Black Mountain. We did a little shopping, eating great food and playing! Elijah enjoyed getting to spend time with his grandparents. They made his first Halloween special with inflatables outside the cabin, carving a giant pumpkin, and getting to dress up like t-rex.

I really enjoy little family moments like this. It is fun to see Elijah light up when he is playing with different people. It is fun to watch him observe life and the people around him.

Thank you God for pumpkins, inflatables, weekend getaways, in-laws, candy, snow, mountains, yummy food, grandparents, plat time, costumes, and rest. 

Join me in giving thanks! Link up in the comments to your Giving Thanks post! #givingthanks

target and marriage

I really have a deep love for Target. I know I probably shouldn't like it so much, but it just seems to have everything I could ever possibly want in 5 different colors! I think I am the type of person you could call a Target connoisseur. Did I just type that?

I do really love Super Targets, though. I mean they do seem to have more than normal Targets. They get a wide selection of clothing. Have an awesome grocery section. And the clearance aisles, oh my! These aisles are, by far, my favorite. I could peruse down those aisle for hours. Just looking at all the discarded junk that is waiting for me to see as a treasure. There have even been some impulse buys down those aisles.

My husband on the other hand, really does not like Target. I don't think I can use the word hate. I don't think he has a hatred. I mean let's face it, he has found some good things there too or maybe I did and brought it home to him.

Recently, my husband was leading a marriage retreat for our church. I was able to go along too, with our little boy. I didn't get to make every part of the retreat, but I really enjoyed the moments when I did. We were a little tired going into the retreat. The previous two days we had been at at a conference and the days before that had received little sleep at night. Even though we were tired and just needing some down time at our home we also need a little retreat to reflect on our marriage. We communicated. We laughed. And, we realized that children running through the halls at 9:00 pm does not make tired parents happy.

My hubby shared a story about Target. You see, I usually save all my Target trips for his day off so we can go together and spend an hour or so just walking around. He. hated. every. minute. I learned this one Friday when he seemed to want to go hiking and do house projects before my need to go to Target. He explained that he just didn't see why he needed to go along and that he hated just walking around. At first, I was really hurt. In my mind, I heard that he didn't like spending time with me. He them asked me why I saved the trip for his day off when I could go any other day of the week. I realized in that moment that I loved going to Target with him because I received his undivided attention. Toward the back of Target, our cells phones receive no service. He cannot receive any calls or texts and that was just fine with me. He is on call all the time, but sometimes I just need him to not be thinking about others. Selfish? Yes it is. When I communicated this need to him, his whole attitude turned around. We both realized that focused attention on one another is a key part to our relationship.

Since that conversation, I try not to save all my errands for his day off. I try to plan family hikes or projects for the house we can do together. My hubby works on not checking his phone all the time and we have a firm no email policy. This seems to make both of us happy. Communicating our needs to one another so we can honor and respect each other. I have really tried to be more aware of my communication with him. This includes when I feel like I just need his attention or our family needs to be his primary focus.

I thank God for Target.  I think my husband does too!